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I would like to share a small part of my experience, one that I came across on my journey of healing (from a past relationship) and self-discovery. The journey hasn’t ended yet. And I am still learning and trying to regain what I have lost through the years. At times it is painful, but this journey is teaching me every single day—how to open my heart again and little by little, open the doors to love.

We enter a relationship, we get hurt and sometimes we even lose ourselves, completely. Suddenly you wake up one morning and you don’t understand who you are anymore. Who is this person? What happened to that person who was so filled with joy? Have you ever felt this way? I felt this way in the beginning of this year. It scared me. I cried almost every day and I didn’t know how to stand up and move again. I didn’t know how to walk through life with confidence, self-love and self-respect like I used to once.

One of my teachers once said that everything is inside ourselves, that peace and happiness is within ourselves. That morning when I woke up, looked at the mirror and couldn’t recognize myself anymore, I remembered his words. So I decided to restart my meditation practice and spend as much time as I could in meditation and in other forms of retreat.

It has been nine months since that day. This morning as I woke up and got dressed, ready to take the train to the North of France to reunite with some people from Peru who I had met this summer and to spend some time in nature, I looked at the mirror again and I saw joy in my face. I felt that peace inside me. I felt the power and force of life and the urge to live my life the way I want to.  Having said that, this is what I want to share with every woman who is reading this. I hope that it will inspire you to find the same power within yourself and re-define your life.

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You embark on a journey and you don’t know where it will take you, who you will meet along your way and how it will change your life. You leave and you come back, but you will never be the same again. You will look at the world and people around you in a completely different way. Some people will leave your side, others will enter or re-enter it, bringing to you, life lessons—which you have yet to learn.

Love will come and go but the ones which stay, will get stronger. The connections will transform. Your consciousness will rise and you will notice how you attract like-minded people. Suddenly you will see that the men around you are beautiful, loving and conscious human beings who respect, value and appreciate your presence.

And if they don’t, you will be able to let them go and end the toxic relationships.

Suddenly you will also notice that you are not a teacher to them anymore, but that there is an exchange happening between you. Sometimes you give, sometimes you take and you keep on learning from each other. You will also understand what you like and dislike and won’t accept less than what you truly deserve, because you love yourself. You are now a confident, mature and grounded woman. You will also know that whatever happens, you can always rely on yourself, your family and your real friends. You are there for them, so they will be there for you. This type of love and connection cannot fade away so easily, because you have built it together through happy and sad times.

It will not always be easy, because you will meet people who won’t understand you, who won’t be able to feel what you feel. And yet, most of the times, following your heart and intuition will be an exciting journey filled with love, care and compassion. But first, you have to learn how to love yourself. You have to learn how to forgive yourself for all the small things, which make you feel guilty or worried. You have to believe in yourself and your dreams. You are the only person who can empower yourself. Other people can support you along the way, and yet no one owes you anything, neither do they have a responsibility to empower or love you. It is a choice, which we make every day. We choose how to spend our time and with whom. We even choose if we should allow ourselves to love or  close the doors to our heart and run away from it.

Fear is what stops us. Fear of being hurt again, to be disrespected, not valued or not appreciated.

And if we do decide to open our hearts, we have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and to not be afraid to share with the other person our feelings and thoughts. We should also allow ourselves to be scared, to feel weak at times. It might take some time until we learn how to let go of that fear and embrace ourselves, embrace the love, and just go with the flow of life and see where it will take us.

Now, once we have dealt with those feelings, we can live with joy, we can breathe the fresh air of life again, dive deep into its wavy waters, lift our heads towards the sky and create our own world. We can touch the grass with our bare foots and naked souls.

To reconnect with everyone and everything around us on a deeper level. To give and take. To exchange our energy flows and just be ourselves.

Nothing in life can be better than the luxury of waking up in the morning and knowing that you will do whatever you want throughout the day, that you will work on your passions every single minute and that you will wake up next to a person who taught you how to love unconditionally again. I still haven’t met that person, but I know that my heart is open to allow love to enter my life again. I now know that the next time I meet someone who I want to spend my days with, I won’t run away. My journey continues and there are many things I have to learn still, but the one thing I do know is:

If we believe in our values, in ourselves and in our dreams, life will never abandon us. It might shake us or hurt us, but we are strong and powerful enough to stand up and go again. Every single time you feel that you don’t even have the power to wake up, remember that the power lies within you and every dark period in your life will just help you grow. And then one day, once you look back, you will understand that everything made sense and you are who you are today because of all that you have experienced.

With love,
Karolina.

 

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