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I often find myself tumbling into situations where I realize that my actions are affecting people. It is then that I wonder if I had caused the pain. If yes, was I forgiven?

And slowly, I start recalling all the instances where I was at the receiving end of forgiveness and if I could feel its hold on me. I sit reminiscing times when I was comfortable basking in a new lesson with a heart as light as feather. Sans burden, sans guilt. And moments later I breakaway from all those memories—embracing all the pain with an inability to gather courage to forgive and forget and in that moment I realize that how it is easier said than done.

Forgiveness, you are never sure what comes out of it. Is it a promise that you won’t ever be hurt again or is it an assurance to self that you are wiser than before? If you forgive, are you really the bigger person or as they say, forgiveness is only a lesson that you’re cursed to learn?

I personally believe that people who forgive are more of giver-s than taker-s. They are willing to give, without batting an eyelid. They have the heart or maybe courage to look beyond resentment, hurt, pain and isn’t it the bravest act of kindness ever? From a broken heart to a lost trinket, an act of deceit or a broken vase—maybe forgiveness becomes a tad bit easier when love empowers it.

For me, forgiveness is like starting over again—a beginning that is deep rooted in the past and yet so fresh, so new. It is almost like a new adventure, a roller coaster ride of mending and fixing the broken edges and making space for the same old butterflies over again. Maybe because, the act of forgiveness in the recent past has always made me feel lighter; overwhelmed with a sense of freedom, being incandescently happy and once I started practicing the art of forgiveness and seeking forgiveness, I realized that I ended up receiving more than I gave. For me, forgiveness is closure; it is a conscious decision to make things alright again and to be at peace.

And at times, when I chose not to give in—it was just me on the other side and it was to make sure that the mistakes weren’t ever repeated, to make sure that I never forget. Yet, over time life made me realize that charity begins at home and to forgive the world, we need to start with ourselves first. The first lesson in the art of forgiveness is perhaps self-love and the rest shall follow by.



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